I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!
I would just like to take this time to express my gratitude.
I have truly been blessed! I have soooo much to be thankful for. I have a beautiful family. I am so thankful for my husband! He is such an inspiration to me. He always had my back and he pushes me to be better all the time. He is a great provider, my children and I are always taken care of. He is a wonderful father and an awesome teacher. I thank God for him everyday! I'm thankful for my children. I have three amazing children! They are smart and funny. All three of my children look out for each other, they are so caring, loving and affectionate! I couldn't have asked for a better family!!
I'm thankful for my parents who taught me so much about life. They laid the foundation for who I am today. My morals definitely came from them. I'm also thankful for my sister. I always tried to take care of her and yet I have learned so much from her. She is such a smart, beautiful and strong woman.
I may not have a lot of friends, which is ok with me because the friends I have are GREAT! I know that they will be there for me whenever I need them and I will be there for them. They are true friends and I love them.
I am thankful for my house, my job, my vehicle, my phone, basically all of the things in my life that allow me to live with as much fun and as little stress as possible!
I am also grateful for all of you! Please comment to let me know what you think or to share what you are thankful for. Thanks and happy traveling!
I'm kind of excited as I write this post this morning. I feel like I'm starting to make some progress on my journey. I think that one of the biggest problems I faced before I started this journey was that I lacked passion. I wasn't passionate about anything except for my family. I didn't have anything that excited me in my life. Today that is different. Today I have this site. Even more exciting, I have you! I have you to share this journey with.
It has been a little over a month since I began trying to find me. I have learned so much in that time. Honestly, I don't know how long the road that I am on will be. I'm okay with that though. I recognize that this a marathon and not a sprint.
So far I think the biggest lesson I've learned has been the importance of taking care of myself. Spending a little time, energy and even a little money on myself is not selfish it is necessary. I feel like my overall mood has improved over the past month. I also feel that I have also become more patient which I think is making me a better wife and mother.
The other day, my daughters and I were in the car waiting to pick my son up from basketball tryouts. While we were waiting I put on some music for us to listen to. The last song I played was Feelin' So Good by Jennifer Lopez. One line in particular really resonated with me. In the chorus she sings, "I'm feelin' so good. I knew that I would. I'm taking care of myself like I should". I feel like I have at least reached that place in my journey. I know that I need to take care of myself and so I am.
It's great that I am learning all of these things about myself. However, I need to learn how to take action. How do I turn the things I've learned into changes that will positively affect me and my life?
One thing I've learned is that sometimes it is more important to just do something, than to just sit for forever trying to determine what the best move will be. The point is that even if you don't end up with the desired outcome, you have done something and hopefully you have learned something from that experience. An experience you never would have had had you not taken action.
For example, I learned a valuable lesson recently from trying and failing to lose weight for several years. I've tried different diets and different exercise programs. The one thing I noticed throughout the years is that I was approaching weight loss with the wrong goal. Instead of focusing on losing weight, I should have been focusing on changing my lifestyle. Would I have come to that epiphany if I had never taken action? Probably not.
I have learned a great deal since I embarked on this journey to find myself. I've learned that I not only have I not been living my own life, but I don't like who I've been. I've been struggling with that for the past couple weeks.
I know that in order to make changes you must first assess the current state. Then and only then can can you effectively decide what needs to be changed and why. I will admit that it has been really difficult for me to honestly look at my flaws. So difficult in fact that I made the choice to abandon my journey for a time. I never said, "Oh, I don't want to find Tiffany anymore" but I did stop reflecting. I stopped listening to podcasts. I stopped blogging. I stopped reading. I stopped looking at motivational quotes.
I thought that this journey was going to be quick, fun and painless. It is not. Some of it has been fun but it is definitely no walk in the park.
I know that even though it is hard, I must keep moving forward. Now that I know the truth I can not go back to the drone I used to be. I must keep moving forward.
I'm sorry I've been away for a while. I've actually been struggling with a few things. I wasn't sure what was going on with me. I was talking to my amazing husband last night and he helped me to realize that I am struggling because I lack control over my life.
It's not as important that I have a job that I love as it is that I have control over the things in my life. Notice I said things and not people. I think I was having such a hard time when I began this journey because I was in a place where I felt like there was so much that I had to do that I didn't feel like there was any time or energy or money left for me.
Now I realize that although there will never be more than 24 hours in a day, I can choose how I spend those hours to get as much as I can out of each day. I said in my first post that I felt like my life was living me. It's because somewhere along the line I gave up control. I guess you could say that I hopped into the passenger seat and now it's time for me to get back in the driver's seat and take the wheel and take control over my life.
I am really excited to share this part of my journey with you!
I recently received a comment from one of you in response to something I stated in my first post. Here is A snippet from the comment left by j:
"it's funny i'm torn. i think that you must live for your kids. without living for your kids.....I don't know how else to put it."
Allow me to explain why I believe it is so important that we do not live solely for our children.
As parents we are role models. We set the example for how our children should behave. I have a couple of personal examples I want to share with you.
1. When I was in elementary school, my mother went back to school. She received her B.A. and graduated with honors. My mom also worked on the school newspaper. She managed to do that while also caring for my sister and me. I was so proud of her at her graduation. Now, as an adult, I understand how much work it took for her to accomplish all that she did.
2. My husband has been cutting his own hair and our son's hair since my son was born. Last week my son decided to cut his own hair. Unfortunately, he cut himself in the process. Luckily it wasn't a bad cut at all. Wanting to be like his father, he wanted to take responsibility for his own hair.
These two instances let me know how important it is for us as parents to know who we are. If we are happy, balanced and personally fulfilled, we will be more likely to have children who grow up to be truly happy as well.
Happy November Everyone!
I hope you all enjoyed having an extra hour of sleep today!
One of the things I've learned over the past week is how important having the right perspective is. When I first began this journey, I didn't have the best perspective. I was angry. I was angry with myself. I was focusing solely on where I was and the mistakes or missteps that got me there.
Once I shifted my focus from the past to the future, I gained a new perspective. Not only did it make me feel better, but I gave myself the opportunity to make positive changes.
I'll be honest, it is easy to become overwhelmed when you are spouse, parent and employee. Sometimes that can shift your focus away from where it needs to be. Now that I've been able to refocus, my perspective has changed. I can see that I am on this journey and that I am making progress. I have more patience and I am more determined than ever to find Tiffany.