I recently discovered Amy Winehouse.
As I was listening to her first album, I began to think that I would like to see her in concert. However as you know Amy Winehouse passed in 2007. While I'd known about her most famous song rehab, I really had no idea just how soulful her music was.
But then I got to thinking about who I was back before Amy Winehouse died. I was a totally different person all those years ago.
Although I may have missed out on some experiences, all of the experiences I've had have made me the person I am today.
I have learned a lot and I've grown a lot and I love the Tiffany I've found.
Hey my loves!
As I am sitting here early on a Sunday morning trying to plan for upcoming weekends, a sad reality dawns on me. We, like most of the people I know are trying to live our lives on the weekends.
We pretty much have our Monday through Friday set in stone: get up go to work, pick up kids, make dinner, get ready for bed so we can do it all again tomorrow.
So when the weekend arrives, we go a little crazy trying to squeeze in all of the desired activities that we just don't have the time or energy for during the week.
Having said all of that, I am grateful for those two days each week that I can devote to the people I care about the most!
I have recently truly come to understand the very deep love that I have for music.
Music is really powerful, music can strongly influence my emotions.
I've been trying Apple Music and I am in love with it!! I've been able to listen to songs and playlists that make me feel energetic and happy or calm and peaceful.
There are some songs that I can play whenever I'm in a bad mood that immediately lift me up. The songs that make me want to get up and dance always seem to give me energy at the end of a long day when I still have work to do. And then there are songs that stimulate my mind with thought provoking lyrics.
Tonight I hope you find a chill playlist to help you relax!
I'm in a really great mood today! The weather is beautiful!! I absolutely love when the weather breaks. I love being able to go outside and feel the warm sun on my skin.
I'm really not a fan of winter weather. Don't get me wrong when we get the opportunity to go out and play in 30" of snow I'm there but I just really prefer warm weather. I'm not confined to a huge coat and I don't have the numb feeling of that crisp cold air.
Warm weather makes me happy. To be quite honest I wasn't in the best of moods this morning before I left the house, but as soon as I walked out of the door it was like all those negative feelings melted away. I'm so grateful that I got the chance to get out and soak up the sun like Sheryl Crow today!
Good morning my loves!
Today's post will be a little bit different from my normal posts.
Yesterday my daughter had a cheer competition and my son had a basketball game. Unfortunately, my daughter's team placed last and my son's team lost by 20 points.
As a mom, it was really tough for me to watch my children experience these losses. However, it reminded me of my purpose as their mother. I want my children to be happy whether they win or lose. They will never learn to be happy no matter what if they don't experience Both the highs and the lows.
My job is to be there for them and to help them to see that there is always something to be happy about. Even if it is the opportunity to redeem yourself at the next game or competition.
I love you Justin!
I love you Jada!
I am so proud of you!!!
Happy Saturday my loves!
Last night my daughter and I had what we call a Friday Night Dance Party in our living room.
I realized last night that dancing is my passion. I love to dance! Dancing makes me feel free. It's almost as if I am somewhere else when I'm dancing. I would say that I become someone else but it's more like I am the true me when I am dancing. I'm not worried about anyone else when I'm dancing. I am so excited because I've been searching for my passion for a long time. I hope you all have your own version of a Friday Night Dance Party!
I have been trapped for years. I've been trapped in a prison I created. There have been so many limitations that I have put in myself without even realizing it. It may have begun with small choices like not going out with friends in order to stay at home with the family. At this point though, I only go out without my husband or the children one of three places: work, the gym or the grocery store. As I've mentioned before my life has been completely devoted to my family.
One thing has changed since my last post. I have finally gotten past the guilt. Yes, I felt guilty for wanted to things for me. I felt guilty for wanting to spend time without my family. While I understood that it was necessary for me to take time for myself, I still felt guilty. Now over a year later, my emotions are finally in line with my mind.
Good morning travel mates!
I hope you had a great week and more importantly a great Friday night!
I realize that I haven't posted anything in quite a while. I've been digging really deep. Since I began this journey over a year ago, I've made some progress lots of progress actually. One thing I've learned is that this journey requires a mix of internal and external exploration. Lately I've been doing a lot of looking inward. I've been thinking about past relationships and decisions. I've been like Sherlock Holmes trying to follow the clues and figure out why I behaved the way I did and ultimately why I felt the way I did. It has been exhausting, but well worth it!
That is the biggest thing I've taken away from all my research over the past several months... that I am worth it.
I'm worth all of the effort I have been putting in to me.
I'm worth all of the time I've been spending on me.
I'm worth all of the tears that I've shed.
I'm worth a lot more than I used to think.
This journey has been difficult but it is also fun. I'm enjoying the Tiffany that I am finding!
Good morning Sunshines!
It is before 7 on Sunday morning and I am wide awake. I've actually been awake for at least an hour now.
In all honesty I was not happy to be awake so early. I woke up because I couldn't breathe. I have asmthmatic bronchitis. Which has pretty much made me miserable for the past 2 weeks. So this morning when everyone in the house was asleep and I found myself awake, I found myself wishing I were back to sleep.
Now that I've been awake and alone with my thoughts I realize how truly blessed I am. I know that for me it can be easy to focus on the the negatives in life. I've been doing a lot of that lately. So today I've decided to make a conscious effort to be more positive. I'm going to try to find the silver lining to every dark cloud.
First silver lining:
I may be sick (dark cloud) but I'm well enough to be at home with my family. I'm not stuck in the hospital with IVs and oxygen masks and that horrible food!
Second silver lining:
This one really isn't even a silver lining, it's really a whole entire sunbeam! My family is healthy! My children, my husband, even my dog are all healthy!
Third silver lining:
It's Sunday! Which means that even though I'm up way too early (dark cloud) I don't have to go to work. I can stay home and rest.
I acknowledge that I have far more things to be happy about than I have listed here. I'm really thankful for all of you. I truly appreciate you reading my blog and being a part of my journey!
I am so grateful for today!!
Have been working my butt off at my job for the past two days so sleeping in (until 6:15) this morning so awesome!!
It's really amazing to me that I feel so rejuvenated after only sleeping for about 7 hours considering a worked 15 hours Friday and 13 hours Thursday!
I'm learning so much about myself though. For instance, I have learned that I really enjoy working. Yes, was working really hard for all those hours but I felt good doing it. I had a sense of purpose. I am still not passionate about what I do but I do really enjoy that I am good at what I do. I especially enjoy being able to step back once I am finished and reflecting on what I've done.
So thank you God for Saturday and the realization that I am passionate about working hard toward a goal. I'm really looking forward to learning what it is I am passionate about so that I can marry the two!
Until next time everyone! God Bless
Oh happy day!!
I am thrilled to share what I have learned with you!
So, a couple weeks ago I was feeling pretty down. I was upset about my health, I was in physical and emotional pain. And to top it all off, I was feeling alone because well I was physically alone.
I went to the mall after my lunch date with myself. I wasn't planning on buying anything, I was just supposed to kill time until my doctor appointment. As I walked through the mall window shopping, I saw a pink bag in the window of Vera Bradley. I just had to go in to see how much it was! Turned out that they were having a sale... and I went a little crazy.
I was happy before I had even been handed my shopping bag full of goodies! As I walked seemingly on air through the mall, I wondered, "why does shopping make me happy?" I couldn't stop thinking about it. So I decided to poll my friends and family. Overwhelmingly, the women I asked not only said they enjoy shopping but they said it made them feel 'good'.
I'd always thought that I personally liked shopping because it made me feel empowered. I was making choices and I was able to go in and purchase the things that I wanted. But now that line of thought just wasn't enough. So...
I did a little research (I googled it) and found this:
Shopping can be a rich source of mental preparation. As people shop they’re naturally visualizing how they’ll use the products they’ll considering, and in doing so they’re also visualizing their new life. And as many great athletes will attest, visualization is a performance booster and anxiety reducer.
I read this and it was like someone lit a cartoon light bulb over my head, I finally got it. It makes total sense to me now! Shopping is about more than just spending money, it's about more than the physical "things" and getting something new. It's about what the new items represent to you, a positive change in your life. Whether big or small, positive changes in our lives are exciting and refreshing!
Here are a few of the items I came home with that represent positive changes for me!
So as you may already know, I treated myself to lunch recently. Not only was it a good meal but I actually enjoyed being my own lunch date. Having lunch with myself gave me the opportunity to really enjoy my own company.
As a wife and mother I am very often catering to someone else's needs and wants. Going out to eat by myself allowed me to think only of myself and my needs and my wants for about 30 minutes. Someone else was catering to me and I thoroughly enjoyed it!
As a matter of fact, I enjoyed treating myself to lunch so much that I have decided to make it a regular occurrence. I am going to treat myself to whatever I want on the menu no matter what the cost once every three months. Not because it is Mother's Day or my birthday but just because it makes me happy!
Oh yeah, here is a pic of my delicious lunch!
I found a piece of Tiffany!
I am back on track and it feels so good! I know that I haven't posted anything in a while... sorry to leave you hanging!
I recently found myself in an uncommon situation. I was all alone with time to kill. I wasn't feeling well (again) and so I went back to the doctor. Unfortunately, my appointment was pushed back by a few hours. My husband and mother were at work, my kids had plans with my mother-in-law. I was alone and I didn't have anywhere I had to be, nothing I had to do. instead of feeling liberated, I felt lonely and angry.
I decided to go to my default place to kill time Target! I walked aimlessly around the store for a little while. I ended up in the Back-to-School section. I found a planner and some other organizational things. I felt a little better.
After leaving Target and still having hours to kill, I decided to treat myself to lunch at the Cheesecake Factory since it was only 10 minutes away from the doctor's office. I'm not sure if it is fortunate or unfortunate but I am unable to get into the Cheesecake Factory so I go across the hall to Stoney River.
I am seated at a table and I place my order. While waiting for my food, I pull out my new planner and begin writing. I write down a few paragraphs about why I am feeling the way I'm feeling. Then I read a couple of motivational quotes on Instagram. At this point I am feeling somewhat recharged. I thoroughly enjoy my food and even order dessert. I never tried Creme Brûlée before(I'm not really big on dessert that isn't chocolate). It was good!
Now, I'm feeling even better! I've had a good meal and I am mentally in a different place.
So I have always loved new technology. I am always amazed by what it can do. But lately I am really missing the old days. You know the days when there was only one phone in the house? Those are the days I am missing right now.
I guess because my kids are getting older and they are beginning to spend more and more time on their devices. I miss the days when I didn't have to compete against their friends and the world wide net for their attention.
I am guessing I sound like an old lady right now! It's funny because as I sit on the couch typing this up on my super convenient smartphone I am complaining about smartphones!
Some people may say just take the phones away from the kids! But because I love technology so much I can't! I love that I can communicate with them via FaceTime, text, email and simply calling them in addition to talking to them face to face. I thoroughly enjoy getting memes from my son about Harry Potter and pics of my daughters doing cute things together while I'm away.
So I guess to wrap things up...
I sometimes miss the way things used to be but I have a great appreciation for the way things are now. And no, I wouldn't trade my modern tech for those simpler times!
I'm sure you've heard the saying Robbing Peter to pay Paul. I was washing dishes earlier while making dinner for myself and my two girls when I thought about the saying.
Usually you hear people referencing robbing Peter to pay Paul when talking about money. But today I was thinking about the fact that there are only so many hours in each day. No matter how much needs to be done or how many things I want to do, there just doesn't seem to be enough time for everything. Hence Robbing Peter to pay Paul. I start thinking to myself that I can do yoga if I don't do the laundry today or I can play with the girls if I order pizza instead of cooking dinner.
I think that this could be a good thing to do sometimes but just like with money and paying bills, it really shouldn't be a habit. My laundry will pile up and we will all eventually get tired of pizza!
First I'd like to wish all of you moms a very happy Mother's Day!
It is not an easy job to be a mother but it truly is the best and most rewarding job I've ever had. Watching my children grow and helping them on their journeys has been and continues to be an eye opening experience for me.
I have learned so much about myself and I have grown so much since I became a mother over 13 years ago. I was a very shy, meek person with about half confidence when I found out I was pregnant with my son. I quickly realized that even if I didn't stand up for myself, I had to stand up for him. I was responsible for him. I loved him. I needed to take care of him.
The moment he was born my life changed forever. I went from being Tiffany to being Mommy and to almost everyone else I was Justin's mom.
Since becoming Justin's mom, I've also become Jada's mom and Juliana's mom. I feel like I have changed with the birth of each child. I have grown. I have become more confident.
I'm looking forward to Mother's Day this year. Not because I am looking to be pampered or expecting to be showered with gifts and appreciation. I'm looking forward to Mother's Day because it is a day when I get to reflect on the mother I have become and the really the woman my children have made me.
I hope you all have a great wonderful super awesome Mother's Day!!!
Have you ever set out to do something only to realize that it was going to be a lot harder than you thought? That's what happened to me on Sunday.
I set out to remove a couple of shrub roots from the front of my house. Mind you, I had ZERO experience with just about anything green. But my girls and I had picked out some Hydrangeas and I wanted to plant them.
The first stump came out pretty easily with just a pointed shovel and a saw (oh and a lot of muscle lol). The second one was a completely different story. I dug for what seemed like forever before I ever even hit a root. I was tired, hot, thirsty, frustrated and annoyed.
I persevered. I went back to YouTube for more guidance and I found a video of a man uprooting a small tree. I figured if he could remove the tree and its roots by hand with this method I should be able to get this little shrub root out.
I had to wait until the next day, but with my new tool in hand (and with a demonstration on how to use it from my hubby) I was ready to accomplish my goal. And I did. And it was worth it!
I set a goal. I was met with obstacles. I persevered. I achieved success. In the end it really is that simple. I hope that you find the strength to persevere, to overcome your obstacles and meet your goals.
I love reading. I always have. Recently my husband suggested that I read some "self-help" books as way to help me find myself. I was pretty resistant. I have read "self-help" books in the past and I really hadn't gotten much out of them. However like most people, I gave the books that my husband suggested more weight than all of the others. I think we all tend to have a more open mind to the books movies etc. that the people we love and respect suggest.
We have been married for almost 10 years and so he knows me pretty well, better than anyone else. He suggested that I read two books. The first book was Turning Pro by Steven Pressfield. The second book is titled Do the Work also written by Steven Pressfield. i am about halfway through the first book. It is definitely an interesting read. Unlike the "self-help" books I've read in the past I have actually gotten some good stuff out of this one and I am looking forward t the next book.
The only drawback about reading for me is the time it takes. As you may already know I have a full-time job, a husband, 3 children and a dog. So time to myself is not really something I have a lot of. I recently discovered Audible by Amazon. I love it! I didn;t think that I would because I don't like being read to. But Audible is different. I don't feel like I am being read to but I am getting all of the information from the book. I love that I can listen to a book during my commute to and from work. I can also listen in bed before I fall asleep, it's got a sleep timer so I don't have to worry about missing the whole book because I fall asleep. If you are interested in trying Audible click the link below and you can get 2 free books with your free trial, that's how I found out how awesome it is!
I never really understood what being passionate about something felt like. It is definitely a feeling, well maybe more like a bunch of feelings rolled up in one.
I now know that having a passion in life is like being able to see a part of yourself in something else. Maybe you are passionate about painting. You pour yourself onto your canvas. You try to perfect your brush strokes because you care so much and you want it to be perfect. You want it to be perfect not for anyone else but for yourself. Then once it is perfect you want to share it, not because your showing off your perfection but because you are proud of what you are and what you've done.
I'm still trying to find what I am passionate about, but I have some ideas so stay tuned!
Today I did something a little crazy. I let my daughter have a ditch day!
Here is her creation!
Here is my painting!
It was a really great experience that I almost missed out on. I used to have this obsession with my kids having perfect attendance. Now I realize that it is okay for our children to miss one day of school every once in a while to have a new and different experience. Life is about so much more than good grades and standardized tests. Perhaps if my parents had done the same for me when I was a child I wouldn't have had to create this site! I hope you all enjoy our paintings!
So I was driving along earlier today and I had a really morbid thought... "What if I died today?"
At first I thought well, I wouldn't care because I would be dead. Then I thought about the people I would be leaving behind. My initial thoughs were that no one would really care. I mean there would be some people who would be sad. They would probably say "she was a nice person". But I don't really see too many people being distraught.
Let's face it, all of my friends have other friends. The company I work for has other employees. Even my parents have another child. My husband could always remarry. Sure he would miss me doing the laundry and dishes at first but he would get used to it.
Then I thought of my children. Oh, they would miss me. They don't have another mom. Not that they don't have other people in their lives who love and care for them, but no one who does it like me. That's when it dawned on me. I am irreplaceable. I may not be irreplaceable to everyone but I am to those who matter most to me. Even my husband who could find another wife will never find another me.
The fact is that although I may not impact the lives of many, I have a great impact on the people I care most about. That is important to me. I actually do what I do everyday thinking about my children and my husband. I think about how I can make them happy. I think about sharing the things that make me happy with them.
Please don't get me wrong. My immediate family are not the only people I care about. I care about my friends, my extended family and all of you. To be honest I think of you as my family too. It's just that when I think of being replaced, I can't even imagine someone replacing me in the lives of those select few.
Also, I just want to add that I am very happy and I am in no way considering doing anything drastic like committing suicide or up and leaving my friends and family. Death is a part of life and thoughts of ones own death are part of life too. However, if you feel that you think of death in excess please call the suicide hotline 1-800-273-8255 or visit this website http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Over the years I have really tried to live up to the expectations that others had for me, even when they were not in line with my own expectations. I have come to realize over the past few weeks that it isn't fair to myself to live my life according to what other people want for me. I only get one life and at the end I don't want to look back on my life and say, "I did what he thought was best for me and learned to knit" or "I really made her happy by finishing law school". I'm using arbitrary examples here but you get my drift.
I want to look back at my life and think, "I'm really glad I tried painting" and "I never would have thought that I would have made a good seamstress, until I tried!" Even now, I look back on my life and there just aren't enough of those statements. I've tasted different menu items at a bunch of chain restaurants and I've watched a bunch of TV shows and movies. I've watched other people live their lives instead of living my own.
Recently I've tried a few things:
I'm so glad I've tried these things! Trying these things has made me hungry for more life experiences. There are so many things I want to do now. Even though there are people in my life who make comments that let me know how little they believe in me, I believe in myself. I am finally starting to live for me. I've never been so happy or felt so alive. I'm not giving this feeling up for anyone!
I can honestly say that I have never been so motivated in my life! In the past I've been motivated for a few hours or even a few days and then the excitement fades. This time I've been energized and focused for months.
I think that my sustained motivation can be attributed a combination of things.
1. I am finally focusing on myself.
2. Immersing myself in motivational quotes.
3. Spending my time listening to podcasts instead of music sometimes. (I think that balance here is key!)
I wasn't really big on social media until I started this site. I was proud of what I was doing and I wanted to share it with as many people as possible. So many of you have let me know how sharing my journey has helped you on your own journeys. The more positive feedback I got the more I wanted to share! Since I've been on Instagram and Twitter and Facebook, I've found a lot of inspiring quotes. (I also love BrainyQuote!)
One technique that I've been employing over the past several months is choosing a quote to use as my lock screen wallpaper. This serves as a constant reminder every time I look at my phone. The first quote I chose was this one:
That was the day before I started this site. Here's a shot of the one I am using right now.
I have learned never to underestimate the power of words!
One thing I have thought a lot about recently is the fact that I often feel like I can't really be myself. Now, in certain situations like with family and close friends being myself isn't a problem (for the most part). However, when I am around other people I sometimes feel like I hold myself back.
Like I said, I've been thinking about this a lot. I remember being young, like in elementary school. I remember how cruel some of those kids were. There were a couple of instances that I can still remember like they happened yesterday.
1. My dad came on a field trip with us in 3rd grade. Afterward my "friends" refused to talk to me. They called me a liar. I just couldn't understand why. I am a product of an interracial couple. I inherited my mom's complexion so you wouldn't know that unless I told you or you saw both of my parents. I guess I made the mistake of not telling my friends.
2. When I moved from New York down south in the 4the grade I encountered a situation where I was told that I "talk funny". Mind you I've never had a New York accent. Again I was clueless. As a 9 year old it hadn't dawned on me that some of these kids had never been out of the south. So even though I didn't have a New York accent, I didn't speak like they did and so I sounded funny to them.
In retrospect I can see how these events (and I'm sure there were others that I just don't remember as clearly) have helped me to kind of guard myself from others. I have recently gained more confidence in myself. I think it has been a result of embarking on this journey to find out who I really am. Now that I've learned some of the things that I've learned about myself I know that by holding myself back for all of these years I have not only been hurting myself but everyone around me. I don't want to sound cocky or conceited but I do have a lot to offer. I gain a lot from the books, blogs and podcasts that others put out. I have learned that others can and have gained things by reading what I have shared.
First let me start by apologizing.